People forget the true definition of xenogender, which is a gender that cannot be described or experienced or fully explained by humans. And while this often leads to hoards, as people try to capture their understanding of their own gender. But for me, it’s been slimming down instead of gaining, turning to one point.
My gender encompasses the gender experience of animals, most specifically, the animals I am as a nonhuman. Parts of my gender are obvious, I wear brown feathers like the mallard, I avoid the mane when I can. But underneath there is this iceberg. The xeno part of my gender that I can only describe as the gender an animal experiences. A gender I in a human body will never fully quantify.
Lets for example, take the bird. Humans like to make it simple, applying their gender norms to them, female takes the eggs, male fucks off. And yet male emus are the most devoted fathers, female cuckoos abandon their clutches for other hens. Okay then, maybe males are big and flashy, and females are brown. And yet, a large majority of bird species are not sexually dimorphic. Femininity and masculinity encompass and share so many aspects that they don’t exist. And the “social construct” aspect of gender is exposed, and the rules break. Human gender means nothing to an animal.
The lioness who hunts for the pack grows a mane, the mallard who cares for the chicks grows in their iridescent colours.
And that, in some way, is me. Femininity, nullness, neutrality, transness, binary. All of it, in all its wonder, and all of it that i cannot handle to think of, is mine. I’m a female animal and that basically just means nothing and I love it. It fulfills everything neutrois and nonbinary is meant to be. I feel so gendered, it’s just in a way that humans don’t understand.
I’m brown like the mallard. It makes me female and yet it just doesn’t. and I have nipples on my belly like a lion and a lioness. None of it means anything and all of it is everything. It makes me want to chirp loudly with joy.